It's the most wonderful time of the year

This year, more than those passed, it hit my that my daughter is growing up.  She wants to continue believing in Santa though the evidence from friends and classmates is mounting.  She still wanted to visit Santa at the mall and let him know that she had her eye on a shiny new MacBook for Christmas (didn't happen).

But she's still a kiddie.  For now.  Don't get it twisted.  She is a girly girl with the gifts of social graces, beauty and dance.  But the little girl part still resides there.  And as long as it does, I will do my best to stoke its fire.  Too often, kids find themselves forced to be miniature adults due to circumstance and peers.  I know my job is to counteract this.

What better way that the holidays?  It's the time of year when magic can happen and reindeer can make their way from houses to apartments in the blink of an eye.  It's a time when there is still something quite magical about snowflakes and snowballs, so I take advantage of it.

Yesterday, was a day full of Santa's sleigh offering the magic of Monster High dolls and fun bands to make jewelry.  For the last two years, the sleigh has docked at our humble home unleashing everything from nail polish to iPhone cases.  And I've been thankful to have a little girl who still battles to believe.

After shifting through mounds of wrapping paper and twistie ties, I needed a nap before heading us out forty minutes west to my cousin's home.  There, children played throughout the home's spacious upper level and sounded as though they'd come through the floor and they stomped so hard.  Adults laughed and ate our homemade casseroles and drank mysterious alcohol concoctions out of a cooler.  We laughed as people tried their hand at karaoke and my aunt explained why she felt the need to purchase a walker that she found an insanely good deal on at a local estate sale -- despite the fact that she's an avid dancer and ceaselessly spry.

But somehow this combination of laughter, kids and -- the ever present -- wine, made the holiday brighter.  I am reminded this morning that we all went through the losses of 2011 and said goodbye to my mom and uncle.  And we are still standing and able to come together and celebrate what remains.

The magic of family.

Disney World, the land of dreams, well, kind of...

Mini Me was in Florida dancing her little heart out at the Tremaine convention and there I was without my mom as my travel buddy.  I'm still adjusting to catching flights without her and her reaching out to touch the seat in front of her during each and every landing.

My daughter rocked during the trip!  Every morning we arose at some crazy hour and she danced from the time she arose until damned near the time she passed out for the evening.  When the conference and competition was over, she had two shiny, new first place trophies to display on the trophy shelf that I've only been in the process of hanging for six months.  :-o

Anyhow, we were able to escape to Disney World after it was all over and we had a free day to ourselves.  So there we were dodging in and out of lines between the unrelenting rain.  We laughed and walked and rode It's a Small World when we tired of wearing our sweltering plastic ponchos.  But as night fell, we prepped for the electric parade.

As the lights on the pretend streets dimmed and people gathered behind ropes to get a closer view, we sat on an otherwise unoccupied porch to watch.  I was teleported to our trip to Disneyland in 2008.  That was when things were normal and my mom wasn't present only in my head.  Back when my daughter smiled as she peed into a Pull-Up so that she didn't have to get out of the line for riding Dumbo.  Back then, we stood in the mock up of New Orleans French Quarter that had been popped down into California for our pleasure.  We drank mint juleps and marveled as fireworks lit up the night sky at Disney.

But in 2012, it was different.  As the parade passed us by, I felt like the loneliness was only amplified by those around me.  I felt like Disney World was the loneliest place on earth without my mom there to laugh.  I sat there on the wood planked porch and allowed the tears to flow as I felt an indescribable isolation in the presence of hundreds of people gathered in my immediate area.  As the lights came up, we headed into a shop to purchase our trinkets and when my daughter turned to me and asked if I was ready to go, I could not have more positively said yes.

The arrival of summer

Summer is here! I know because I dropped my little one off at her second day of summer camp this morning. Yesterday, she came back drained and by the time she and her grandmother picked me up, I had just enough energy for 3 pitstops. No more! :D She was so tired that she could barely describe her day to me. But from what I gathered, there was a lot of walking, singing, and water play.

So here we are. Summer is upon us. I've already begun paying next year's tuition for school and it seems like this is how the years just seem to go flying by. But this summer will be a bit slower for me because I have a plan to get some stuff accomplished.

I need to donate like 70% of the clothing in my home. I need to simplify my life. I want to be ready for the fall and I am planning to do all that one day at a time this summer. This summer will be exactly the reason that I love this time of year.

My daughter and I will be hitting the farmers' market. We'll be enjoying air-conditioned movies at both the big theaters and the dollar shows. And most importantly, we'll be re-establishing what family means at our home.

Summer, here I come!!!