Still a single mama. Not much has changed on that front except my child has gotten taller and wiser. I am hanging on as a librarian. No major changes on that front although I do run a branch these days. That is an entry in and of itself...
But what has been most on my mind is the fact that I seem to get involved with other people's issues and make them my own. Case and point: I have a freind whom has been one of my best friends since I was like 8. He got into a toxic relationship. And I hated to witness the flameout. But I was there and saw it end in full, blazing color. They broke up, but now they have this child who is in the middle of the bullshit. It is not fair to the baby. Kids don't ask to be here.
But he is feeling overwhelmed. I get messages from him saying that he is tired of living. Tired of the inner battles that we single parents face. We constantly play the what if game. What if I had've done this instead.... Maybe I could have changed my response and the other person would have been better off. What if I never had kids to begin with?
But at the end of the day, that is just a game and this? This shit is real. I am all about operating in the reality. Good. Bad. Or Ugly. I am just getting tired of being a mental coach that says, you can do this and anything else you damned well please. I feel like every person knows that somewhere in there regardless of whether they have a friend like me to say it. So I am getting cranky about that. I feel like some of that is eroding my normalcy...
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5
No comments:
Post a Comment