Deadbeat

Hmmmmmm.... I seem to remember some years ago a man damned near begging me to have a baby. We stayed beefed out that weekend because I couldn't see it. Little did I know, I was already pregnant. Fast forward a few years to the present and that man is nowhere to be found. Not a card on my daughter's birthday or a call on the holidays. Nothing.

I just have to scratch my head and wonder where the first man went. That man wanted my daughter. He went to work religiously. Though he was a pitiful partner at best, he loved his daughter. Or so it seemed. Funny thing is that I have come to realize that the love was all based on whether we were together. It was all about controlling me. If I were to have a child, somehow I would be on reserve forever. I would stay with him no matter how toxic the relationship. Apparently, no one told him who I was and that I don't tolerate bullshit well.

So, once he realized that his stranglehold on our "relationship" was ineffective, he threw the towel in and gave up. Problem is, he also gave up on my daughter. Now none of this is to say that I wish he were around because, alas, I don't. The reality of it is just that I don't get it. How could someone give up on a person that they willed into existence?

That one, I will never understand and, frankly, I'm glad that I don't have the mentality to rationalize it.