Staying in Your Lane

My granny says that if you follow your mind, you won't go wrong. Over the years, I've found that her words have never led me wrong.

So here it is... I've found the man that I've waited my whole life for and the issue is that I have a whole side of my life that I have to suppress. My friends and I get together every month with a crew of guys and have a game night.

Concept seems innocent enough, but the reality is quite the opposite. So, as I've become increasingly attached to the man I'm with, I have found myself conflicted about spending time at games night.

Now here we are on a mini vacation with the whole crew and my man is trusting that I am on a retreat with my girls. I don't think I can continue to lie by omission. It doesn't make me feel good. I'm trying to be good this weekend. Distancing myself from the craziness and sexually-charged energy.

But I'm going to be doing some mental unpacking about why I have chosen to come here knowing that I would spend the weekend dodging the boys because I know that I have something better at home.

Someone that I want to wear my ring. So why do this to myself? How old am I and what the hell am I trying to prove? And prove it to who?

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